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How to Always Know What to Say

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Barney Stinson

If you have ever watched a comedy, an action movie or met a charismatic person you have most certainly also noticed that the main characters always know what to say independently of what the question is about.

This is not a gift they are born with, but rather something they have developed with one of these two methods.

  • Trial & Error
  • Preparation

Either they have answered the same question so many times they have eventually learned what a good thing to say is or they simply sat down with a piece of paper and thought about what to answer common questions. Your friend, the natural player, who managed to score with every girl probably used the trial & error method while every actor gets a ready to use script.

My preferred method

I did use the trial & error method for several years and eventually developed, in my opinion, great answers to several common questions but it takes unnecessary long time and sometimes you forget great answers.

For this reason I am now using the preparation method. If I get a difficult question on a party I simply save it on my mobile phone and then the next day try to figure out a great answer. The next time someone asks the same thing I suddenly know exactly how to answer and often also joke about it.

Learn main points, not sentences

Just remember to never learn your answers sentence by sentence since there is a chance it will sound rehearsed and eventually someone will probably point it out for you. Instead you should write down main points and try to build an answer on them on the spot.

Common questions

Here are a few common questions to get you started.

  • What’s your name?
  • How old are you?
  • You’re not my cup of tea.
  • What are you working with?
  • What do you do in your spare time?
  • Thank you.
  • Are you a man or a mouse?
  • I’m to old / to young for you.
  • Why doesn’t you drink tonight?

Remember that this method is not only for regular questions but also something to help you be prepared when someone turns you down, etc.

Group discussion

Your answers should always be personal built on your beliefs, but feel free to share common questions you get asked.

Also check out the rest of my posts on personal development.


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